Wooo! Welcome to Shades of Gray, today will be a lot more positive than last nights post, it’s time to celebrate peoples!
As many of the fine folks who read this most awesome blog know, I am awesome. Yes, even more awesome than this, and this, and this, and this but just barely. What many people do not know however is that even someone as awesome as myself can suffer hardship. A few months back I was laid off and have had one hell of a time finding work in this bullshit economy, well jobless bum no more ‘cuz daddy got a job bitch! I’m not really going to go much further with it but I wanted to get that out of the way.
By the way, for anyone thinking “Damn J, you’re an asshole for thinking you’re so much more awesome than everyone and everything, there’s no way you are even as remotely awesome as Jesus riding a Tyrannosaurus Rex.” Well to you I say fuck off. I am however humble enough to admit that I still am not as awesome as this kid.
I would like to go on record now by saying that I agree 100% with Gov. Dave Heineman when he says “Please don’t bring your teenager to Nebraska.” For fuck’s sake, at least drop them off somewhere cool like Iowa.
Last but not least today I would like to talk about Maxie L. Davis of Fort Pierce, Florida. On Sunday, Nov. 10th, Mr. Davis was entertaining his ex-girlfriend when he needed to leave his apartment to pick up some crack. While he was running this errand the lady friend decided to help herself to a can of sardines and a can of Vienna Sausages. Upon returning home Maxie became agitated to discover his delicious bounty devoured and proceeded to advise she not disrespect him in his own house by punching her several times. I for one applaud Mr. Davis for standing up for what’s just plain right and refusing to be a victim. House guests overstep their boundaries far too often and take advantage of their generous hosts, this is a man who left her in the comfort of his home to obtain some savory crack cocaine which he intended to share with the ungrateful little mud duck, and she shows her gratitude by eating his fine foods without even asking. And what happens to Maxie? That’s right, he’s thrown in jail. Well I say bravo Maxie L. Davis, you are a true champion of good and Shades of Gray’s first ever Hero of the Week, you earned it my friend.
