Holy flucking schnidt people, it’s been a long damn time. Welcome once again to Shades of Gray, the only blog bringing light into your your dismal little world.
First things first I have to say R.I.P. to the one and only Bettie Page, she was definitely light years ahead of her time and was mad sexy yo. To be completely honest I didn’t even know she was still alive and figured she had been dead for quite some time but whatever.
It’s strange but I haven’t had much to write about recently, everything has been kinda blah.
I did have the opportunity to once again attend the GoDaddy.com Holiday party extravaganza super blow-out 6000 though. That was pretty entertaining. For the second year in a row I was lucky enough to meet the one and only Candice Michelle( it’s my blog dammit and that is the pic I choose, to hell with you!) and of course I couldn’t resist shaking hands with the drunkest man in Phoenix Mr. Bob Parsons, pictured here wiping his ass with a 100 dollar bill. I did stay away from uber-cunt Danica Patrick though, because quite frankly I didn’t want to subject myself to being in the presence of such a shitty bitch. The girl is in serious need of a big-time donkey punch.
I have noticed a lot of gayness going around lately and I just want to reassure you, my adoring public, that JGray will never do any of these purely homosexual and non man like things:
1) I will never blow-dry my hair, the only acceptable times my hair shall be blown dry are if I’m ever standing up to a hurricane or testing jet-packs in a wind tunnel.
2) I will never use Chapstick. Period. My lips could be dry and cracked and wind-burnt like a mother fucker after standing up to a hurricane but I will not use Chapstick.
3) I will never drive a Mazda Miatta.
4) I will never use the term “tinkle” to describe when I must pee. The only acceptable terms will be “piss”, “leak” and on occasion “urinate”.
Thank you and have a wonderful day.
good stuff, sucks that i’m gay for loving chapstick though.