ALERT!
The Center for Disease Control has issued an emergency alert for an outbreak of Vaginosis (a.k.a. The Gray Vagina Disease). This is a rare and highly contagious disease that causes otherwise normal men to act like leaking vaginas. The latest case was reported in Arizona and has been called the worst case of Vaginosis yet.
Case 1: Recently, a certain man went on a trip out of town with his lady friend. Prior to the trip he had been showing some initial signs of Vaginosis such as watching the nanny diaries instead of hanging out with the guys and having to stay home because he was “tired”. This troubled his friends and they were planning an intervention; however, he went on his trip before the intervention could be done.
Upon returning, this certain individual (we will call him Mr. White) had developed a full blown case of gray vagina disease. It was worse than anything ever seen before – he even had sand in his vagina! What does this mean? Well, after not seeing his friends in a week, he elected to stay home and itch his vagina instead of going 1-block to hangout with them. He stated the need for repeated douching as the reason he couldn’t have so much as one five minute beer. We fear he may be lost to his vagina.
Further research finds that Mr. White may have contaminated others upon his return. One individual (who we will refer to as Mr. Smithenoza) apparently picked up Mr. White at the import and became immediately infected.
Case 2: Mr. Smithenoza is believed to have become infected with the Vag disease after picking Mr. White up at the airport. Evidence of this is in Mr. Smithenoza’s actions last night at the bar where his vagina first peeked out.
While the Stuntmen were preparing to fire up for the weekly ritual of doing insanely stupid shots, Mr. Smithenoza whined and moaned he didn’t want to do it because his vagina itched and he feared he may be getting sand in his too. Fortunately, there were plenty of immune males around to help rescue him for falling into an irreversible case of vaginism. It was a close call, but he did do the shots and regain control of his testicles. Let’s just hope he can keep fighting his infection off.
Stay tuned for more updates. We are following these Vaginosis cases very closely and will report any new findings immediately. In the meantime, proceed with extreme caution around Mr. White and keep encouraging Mr. Smithenoza to keep his vagina under wraps.
Actual Photo of Mr. White’s vagina today… it’s truly sad and painful to see:
Actual Photo of Mr. Smithenoza’s vagina starting to appear: