Welcome one and all to Shades of Gray, epicdelrio.com’s kind of daily blog that fights global injustice one elderly stripper at a time.
OK, I’m not totally for or against Cougar Nation, as you can see there are positives and negatives just like any group of girls. But damn, if a 44 year old woman wants to give lap dances for a living then I say “Hell yes!” This is just another in an astoundingly long list of things that Canadians do wrong, hey, thanks for hockey assholes! From here on out I shall refer to the stripper as Cougs McTittieboobs because her real name is impossible to pronounce since it’s Canadian and therefor dumb. Cougs McTittieboobs claims she was fired from her adult entertainment gig in which she earns $8,000 a month(I’m not sure if that’s real money or that Monopoly shit they use up north) because the owner decided he wanted to “Go in another direction with younger girls.” Now I’m all for getting as many young naked girls together as possible and maybe I have these Canucks pegged wrong(although I doubt it) but if this bitch is able to pull in 8 grand a month then she’s doing something right and therefor creating business and other revenue streams for your shitty strip club(beer, smokes, breathmints,etc.). I hope Cougs McTittieboobs wins her discrimination suit and continues to dance as long as she wants. By the way, were you aware that in Canada milk comes in bags?
I just had to share this with the world, yum.
Just in case no one believed the above Public Service Announcement so thoughtfully provided by your friends at Shades of Gray, here’s fucking proof. And just to prove how much better we are than everyone else, here’s some good old American milk bags.
For anyone who missed it today is the 30th anniversary of the “People’s Temple Agricultural Project” mass suicide, better known as Jonestown. I’m not going to go too far into it because I think everyone should read about it for themselve’s if they haven’t already. Basically Jim Jones was an American Communist and therefor loved having large men pound his asshole till it bled. Jimmy formed his own following, or cult as it were and persuaded the Guyanese Government to lease him land for a settlement. Long story short, Jim got ill and knew he was going to die soon and brainwashed his crew into believing if they all committed “revolutionary suicide” they could change the world. Some people tried to defect when Congressman Leo Ryan showed up to check the place out and Jim had them and the Congressman murdered. Jim’s sheep then lined up one by one and drank from a metal vat filled with purple Flavor-Aid(which is delicious and damn near impossible to turn down), some mother’s even using syringes to feed the delicious genocide juice to their infants. Jim decided not to drink after witnessing the agonizing death’s his apocalyptic punch and shot himself. All in all 918 people died that day in what was the greatest single loss of American civilian life in a non-natural disaster until September, 11 2001. Leo Ryan is the only Congressman murdered in the line of duty. Fun Fact: The People’s Temple originated in Indiana, which proves my point that Indiana sucks and should be moved to Canada.
I wrote a lot more about that than I meant to but it’s damn interesting stuff.
